chandos portrait

My mania has not changed a bit up here. Though I must say the last mental fiasco I had turned out to extremely constructive. I took a good hard look at my life, I saw the direction I would head if I kept on the road I was taken. Iapos;m glad I snapped out of before it was really just too late.
Iapos;m feeling good now, really good actually. Though I feel I should be much farther along in what I want by now, I know that this is where I am, and where Iapos;m suppose to be. Everything will eventually fall into place threw me giving my life my all.
One thing thatapos;s been weighing on my mind a lot recently is this whole being alone thing. I miss caring about someone and having someone to care about me back. I never really noticed it before I came here, but I shy away so easily from guys. Maybe its because Iapos;m afraid of getting hurt and all that nonsense. Or maybe I canapos;t really let go of the past, or maybe its because anyone who doesnapos;t met my exact standards is just not worth my time subconsciously.
Honestly since Iapos;ve been here Iapos;ve only met one person who I see as worth my time, smart, funny, talented, never ceases to put a smile on my face, and can actually be friends with girls without getting a boner about it. The conversations we have make me want to actually listen to him as oppose to just waiting for my chance to speak, which I must say is rare.
But heapos;s just as picky as I am.

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